Bismillah,

They say that a relationship with no arguments is one with a LOT of secrets. It’s true to some extent. Arguments aren’t always a sign of doom for our marriages because sometimes they act like the therapy needed to air out things we were perhaps reluctant to voice under normal conditions.

However, when strong emotions are added to the mix, we stop caring. In fact, we want to hurt and inflict a deep cut with our words. We are tired and we want change! Now, as long as the things we voice are concerns and pet peeves we would like our partners to remediate to, we are still walking toward each other to better the marriage.

Because there are also certain things which when we voice are a point of no return. They can end a relationship so let’s be mindful of those because they can create a chasm in a relationship and things will change and will never be the same again. Therefore before you cross the line of no return with your statements, make sure that’s what you really want. Besides, they are better ways to address those; when emotions are stable.

Now, an argument is not a bad sign if :

The argument makes you closer and relieved after the sting of the fight subsides
The argument improves and helps in the disappearance of one of a few pet peeves mentioned during the fight
The argument reboots your love and care for each other
The argument makes you secure because your mind is at peace for voicing your concerns
The argument gives you the space you need to reflect and perhaps help you be more productive with other activities that needed your attention (Now, don’t go looking for fights so that you can have some time alone without anybody crowding your space).
The argument helps you avoid embarrassment in front of others in the future. Perhaps your partner criticized your manner to eat in public which perhaps needs some polishing and you took offense and then later realized the truth in it.

Above all, arguments have both positive and negative impacts on a relationship. If the negative outweigh the positive, you should perhaps seek professional help. And as always, implore your Creator to help you figure out things when you believe there is no more room to grow.

You can read more on relationships here.

Jazak’Allah khair for reading,

Papatia Feauxzar