Four Fashionable Muslim Men Your Significant Other Needs To know

Let’s talk Muslim Men Fashion. Ask any Muslimah and she will tell you that seeing her significant other dressed well fills her belly with butterflies and fortifies her love for said spouse.

So check out some Muslim men who are doing a good job at that in the ummah and see what style the significant other likes best if he is lacking in this area. If not lacking, it’s not such a bad idea for the spouse to receive tips from these fashionable Muslim men every once in a while. Besides, it’s sunnahfor men to look good for their women as well.

1. The Gambian

 2. The Muslim Gent

3. Youssef Kromah

 4. Baraka Blue

These fashionable Muslim men can also be a source of inspiration when buying gifts for our husbands or grooms.

Original article.

Papatia Feauxzar

Online Editor at Hayati Magazine

How To Encourage Your Husbands To Help Out In Ramadan

Bismillah,

Each year, Ramadan comes with a mix of increased ibadat efforts, more chores, and renewed faith and vigor from the believer to become a better servant to Allah. The holy month has an indescribable aura to it and alhamdullilah we can all feel the change in the air.

With hardship comes ease so in this mix—which is not limited to my spelled out list—the hardship is sometimes the fulfillment of chores that accompany Ramadan. From grocery shopping to cooking iftar dinners to cleaning the place and caring for the children, a team effort is really needed to accomplish all these challenging tasks while battling hunger and low energy levels for the sake of Allah.

While we can order our children to pitch in, we have to admit that it’s often harder to get our Muslim husbands to be on the same wavelength even though Islam and the Sunnah say that it’s maroof for every member of the family to help.

For those who don’t know, women carry the house chore workload out of good manners and thoughtfulness. It’s also appropriate to note that distinguished imams who agreed that a woman doesn’t have to be a dedicated servant to her husband are Imam Abu Hanifa, Iman Malik, and Imam Shafi’i.

Aisha radi allahu anhu, the wife of the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu aleihi wassalam was asked, “What did the Prophet peace upon him use to do in his house?” She replied, “He used to keep himself busy serving his family and when it was the time for prayer he would go for it.” (Bukhari)

Aisha is reported to have also said, “He did what one of you would do in his house. He mended sandals and patched garments and sewed.” (Adab Al-Mufrad graded sahih by Al-Albani)

In the source Ahmad, she said, “He milked his goat.”

Alhamdullilah, my husband does his own laundry and iron his own work shirts. Very rarely that his clothes end up with my clothes and the baby’s. He helps a lot with the toddler and the cleanliness of the house too masha’Allah. Now, because we aren’t a perfect couple, we’re still working on other things for him to pitch in. And honestly there is not really a shortage of things to do in a house. If it’s not one thing, it’s another.

Our Rasool sallallahu aleihi wassalam was very active in his home masha’Allah. So how can you encourage your husbands to help out during Ramadan knowing this? How can you make them follow this blessed path?

1.Plan

Before the month starts, organize a family meeting if you have children and other relatives staying with you. Spell out what the chores will be during the first week of Ramadan. Ask how everyone can pitch in to help. Have lists ready. Also ask the family what are their food wishes; what do they want to eat and how the whole family can work together to make that happen.

If you don’t have children or relatives, go about the meeting with a little more intimacy and tact such as discuss your goals for the coming Ramadan over a nice meal, during a calm walk at the park or any other nice outing where good vibes are in the air.

2.Be Specific

In your lists, make sure you spell out what you think your husbands can do to help you be less stressed and lethargic and most importantly happier. It can be grocery shopping, loading the dish washer, taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, vacuuming, waking up the children for suhoor while you warm up the food for your husbands and the rest of the family. Make sure you have a clear idea of what each member of the family can help with. They can exchange their tasks but plead so that things get done with a higher success rate.

3.Be lenient

Be assertive but watch your tone when you’re asking for help from your husbands and other family members. No one likes a bossy woman who talks down on others. They will boycott you and things will be even messier than before you had the idea to try to get everyone on the same wavelength. If your husband messes up-because he’s not going to get everything right- right away, make dua, breath in and let it go. Thank him for his help no matter how small it is. If he is the kind that doesn’t respond well to compliments, show him your gratitude instead of mouthing words. Your gratitude can be implied with many things, i.e. a hug, a kiss, a smile, etc. Finally, be flexible and willing to listen as well.

4.Repeat

Meet weekly with your husbands and family members to re-assess progress and plan the next week’s wave of chores insha’Allah. Stay positive and focused. Ask Allah to make you all team players too. Ameen. Reward your families for helping with gifts if you can or with their favorite dishes. And most of all, reward your husbands for reviving this neglected Sunnah insha’Allah.

Jazakh’Allah khair for reading,

Papatya*

Bio: Papatia Feauxzar is the Love & Relationship Editor of Hayati Magazine. Feauxzar is also a Muslim Publisher and an American author of West African descent living in Dallas, Texas with her son and husband. She holds a master’s degree in Accounting with a concentration in Personal Finance. After working as an accountant for a corporate firm for almost five years, Feauxzar decided to pursue Accounting from home while homeschooling her son. You can visit her website at www.djarabikitabs.com.

Originally published May 2017 in Khadija Magazine's Ramadan Issue 2 here.

How Polygyny Taught Me to Coexist

“Perhaps Allah will put, between you and those to whom you have been enemies among them, affection. And Allah is competent, and Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.” Qur’an 60:7

Can we all coexist? Well, in my family’s experience with mixed religions, we sure do. My late father, may Allah (SWT) grant him jannah al firdaws, was a university teacher and a Muslim scholar. He married three women; one of which was a non-Muslim whom he later divorced for non-religious matters. And all her children became non-Muslims after his death. My father foresaw their conversion to Christianity and he said that as long as they believed in God after his death, he was okay.

As you can see, my father was very tolerant. He was also respectful and gave the benefit of the doubt to anybody. As a matter of fact, he had heard rumors that his first wife sneakily went to church even though she had converted to Islam sometime during their marriage. My father didn’t believe it even if he had his suspicions. He told the gossipers that until she told him or he caught her, he wouldn’t say or do anything. See, my father could have responded to fitna-seekers with something like, ”I’ll not tolerate a kafir woman in my house!” and such but he kept his cool and went on with his deen.

And when Ben, the last child from my father’s first marriage, heard that my mother – the second wife – was pregnant with me, he couldn’t wait to get a little sister. My strong connection with Ben had started while I was still in the womb.

So, I’m the cutoff line. Before me, they are all Christian. From me to all the children after me, it’s a branch of the Muslim ummah. We just respect each other’s religious choices and pray for each other. We have such a good spirit about having different religions because in Surah 60 verse 8, Allah (SWT) says:

“Allah does not forbid you from those who do not fight you because of religion and do not expel you from your homes – from being righteous toward them and acting justly toward them. Indeed, Allah loves those who act justly.”

Here we see that Allah (SWT) allows believers of different religions to be friends as long as they’re just and fair. In addition, why would our beloved Prophet (SAW) send his ummah to another country ruled by a just Christian ruler? Because we can coexist!

My brother Ben and I are still very close. We call each other often and we chat when we can. We have a connection that no one in the family has. We love each other deeply even though we are from different religions, and we know our boundaries. We coexist and make it work even though some distant family members are not on board.

If La Convivencia (The Coexistence in Spain) happened centuries ago where Muslims, Jews, and Christians lived in harmony despite some sources that state otherwise, it’s very possible to coexist. We have to want it. We have to be willing to put our differences aside and not try to shove our beliefs down other people’s throat. In my family, we don’t preach to each other.

As former Muslims, my older siblings know the third Islamic pillar of faith is the belief in all the books of Allah (SWT) which are:

• The Suhuf: the Sacred Scripture which was revealed to Prophet Abraham (RA)
• The Torah: the Sacred Book which was revealed to Prophet Moses (RA)
• The Zaboor (Psalms): the Sacred Book which was revealed to Prophet David (RA)
• The Injeel (Gospel): the Sacred Book which was revealed to Prophet Jesus (RA)
• The Noble Qur’an: One must believe that the Qur’an is the Speech of Allah (SWT) which Angel Gabriel brought to Muhammad (SAW) and that it is the last of the Divine Books which abrogated all previous Books.

From – (http://www.thekeytoislam.com/en/what-are-the-pillars-of-faith.aspxhttp://ummuabdulazeez.com/islam-101/the-6-pillars-of-faith/)

Just by looking at the reverence in Islam of other faiths, we should know that we are supposed to coexist with respect. Now, if someone believes in something other than those faiths cited above, we should just act fair toward them. We don’t judge them and we don’t pester them with our beliefs. No one likes to be hammered with preaching. It actually turns people away.

In Surah 60 verse 1, Allah (SWT) says:

“O you who have believed, do not take My enemies and your enemies as allies, extending to them affection while they have disbelieved in what came to you of the truth, having driven out the Prophet and yourselves [only] because you believe in Allah, your Lord. If you have come out for jihad in My cause and seeking means to My approval, [take them not as friends]. You confide to them affection, but I am most knowing of what you have concealed and what you have declared. And whoever does it among you has certainly strayed from the soundness of the way.”

These verses above tell us that if we know that someone of a different belief than us has declared themselves an enemy to us, we must stay clear of that person. But only then, under those circumstances. So otherwise, what do we do? Coexist!

Finally, only Allah (SWT) is and will be the Judge of our actions in this worldly life because in Surah 45 verse 17, He says:

“And We gave them clear proofs of the matter [of religion]. And they did not differ except after knowledge had come to them – out of jealous animosity between themselves. Indeed, your Lord will judge between them on the Day of Resurrection concerning that over which they used to differ.”

Being in good terms with people of different beliefs is a favor of our Rabb. Which of His favors are we going to continue to deny, ummah? Above all, in order to coexist, tolerance and respect have to be taught at home— the first school. And we can all cohabit peacefully if we have this foundation.

Papatia Feauxzar is a published author living in Dallas, Texas with her son and husband. She is addicted to love, romance, life, laughs, and always having a good halal time, her goal is to serve Allah first and foremost. Above all, she is annoyingly always in a good mood ;). Visit her at papatia.wordpress.com

Originally published at SISTERS Magazine .

A Glimpse into Jannah

One advice though, as you race to jannah, please don’t become a zalamina (an unjust tyrant). P.Feauxzar

Excerpt : “Then, the most gorgeous woman will arrive, the likes of which you’ll have never seen, and you’ll forget all those 72 hooris and turn to her. She’ll be your earthly wife, surpassing the beauty of a million hooris, returning to your arms.”

Original article by Ruby in the Snow

~A casual stroll through the gardens of jannat~

After reading the most stunning piece of what sounded as an unimaginable place I knew I had to share this with my friends and even the entire world that’s presently here in dunya-alive in a place we compete for, kill for, use methods of evil to attain, brainwashed by temporary pleasures that sometimes last not a day. Imagine you have this cool cellphone and a week later another hits the market and you become bored with what you have. Well in jannah you don’t get bored. You chill, enjoy and pleasures never end…

I grabbed my kufi and rushed out. I was on my way to Asad, Muhammad and Haitham. My friends since forever. Alhamdulillah, we had a great connection going for us but we were always doing things we knew sparked the displeasure of our parents and most of all, Allah. Living in an insane world sometime, we have depressive thoughts which lead us to do what we shouldn’t be doing. For a while, we seemed to be heading to danger. We were on top of the cliff (we were in so much sin). Trying out anything we totally should have avoided.

Before I read the piece, I’d missed salatul fajr and when I awoke I prayed. Then, I checked my phone and read the messages. A random stranger on an advice group posted something he got from a scholar that shook my insides. That was it I was hooked. I skidded almost colliding into Haitham’s arms. They all looked at me as if I was insane. Yeah, I was insane if that’s what you call the feeling that overtook me. But you know what, I thank Allah for it. I started reading.

Our All-Compassionate Lord fashioned three things with His own Hand, not through a process of cause and effect, like everything else. These are his eternal masterpieces which mankind will never cease to admire. They are Prophet Adam, Paradise, and the Torah (Old Testament).

Paradise is a place beyond thought or imagination. Brief descriptions of it have reached us via the Qur’an and the Sunnah. But just like listening to the commentary of soccer giants, Manchester and Liverpool over the radio, you cannot capture the spirit of the game. Likewise, experiencing the delights of paradise cannot be felt without being physically there.

My aim for writing this piece is to get the mouth of all my readers watering for this reality to come, and to realize an effort towards paradise is a worthwhile effort beyond any other effort. So, put on your 3D goggles and enjoy. Just absorb every word and allow the images to unfold before your eyes. Here it goes…

***You have just passed over the bridge over hell, a 1500 year journey which has drained you mentally and physically, and you have joined the excited crowd of people queuing to enter paradise. Impatiently, you wait your turn. There are eight doors of paradise, each as wide as a 40-year journey and names as follows: “Salat (prayers), Jihad (Striving in God’s way), Sadaqah (Charity), Rayyan (Fasting), Hajj (Pilgrimage), Kazimin al-Ghaiz wal Aafeen (Those who drank their anger and forgave), Al-Ayman(Those of the right hand who will be saved from reckoning due to their reliance), and Dhikr (Remembrance of their Lord).” Upon which door do you think your name will be inscribed?

As you envy Sayyadina Abu Bakr for being called by all eight doors of paradise, your name is finally called from one door. You present yourself, like a small child waiting for candy floss from his teacher, and meet Ridwan, the most handsome and adorable angel, tasked with admitting people into paradise. With a huge smile, he gives you the following certificate, “Peace be upon you and congratulation. Enter herein forever and ever.”

In dunya, even the best paid jobs and the best mansion come with a time limit. But in jannah, we have been assured of entering a place of eternal bliss, with no time limit, no feelings of insecurity and anxiety, and no fear of ever being expelled.

As you enter, guided by another angel, you’re given your first meal being shown your place. This is a meal of fish liver and bread (Yum, delicacies…). The food and drink of paradise only resemble the food and drink of dunya in name, but in shape, form, and taste, they’re different. Each bite from the dates, olives, grapes, figs, bananas and pomegranates of paradise will taste differently, and from each a different aroma will be emitted. A bunch of grapes will be equal to 12 arms, having a thorn less stem of pure gold and silver. These fruits, as well as all foods, will be available at any time. Their availability will not depend on seasons or production. There will also be no pits or peels to disturb you, and no garbage cans around. In fact, there is no hunger in paradise and you will never worry about punishing yourself by dieting or weight loss again! Rather, people will eat out of enjoyment, and every meal will last up to 40 years!

The food of paradise doesn’t have to be prepared or cooked, so our wives will not spend half of their lives in the kitchen! The food doesn’t rot, nor does it cause food-poisoning, and nor is it transformed into waste in our bodies. Rather, the food will be expelled by fragrant burps, and the drinks by means of sweet perspiration.

As you enjoy your first meal, you somehow notice that your hands are different. You then realize that you have been given a flawless body, with no disabilities or sickness. You won’t be visiting Dr. George anytime soon who gave his patient six months to live. After six months, his patient didn’t pay him, so he gave him another six month!

You’ll also find yourself to be as tall as Prophet Adam at 90 feet, as handsome as Prophet Yusuf-but with no facial or body hair except a fine crop of hair on your head, having a melodious voice as Prophet Dawud, the same age of Prophet Issa at 33, and the noble character of the Best Creation, Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon them all).

After a brief inquiry, you learn that paradise has 100 stages, the lowest of which is jannat-ul Mawa, the middle of which is jannat-ul Adan (Eden), and the highest jannat-ul Firdauws. Every stage can accommodate the entire mankind, and the distance between each stage is the distance between the earth and the sky. The garden of lowest ranking inmate will be ten times the size of this world. Having satisfied yourself with your initial meal, you’re now taken on a pearly coated winged horse to your final abode. You won’t worry of visas, passports, long queues, and the exorbitant prices of tickets anymore. You’ll then notice flashes of gentle lightning in the clear sky and will ask in wonder, “What are those lights?

Your usher will answer, “They’re the anticipative smiles of your houris.”

Although this will be your first trip to paradise, the road will seem familiar to you. As you travel, wondering which garden is yours, you’ll notice that the sand isn’t made up of dirt. It’s pure saffron. The gravel is made of pearls and rugbies, and the buildings are made of transparent gold and silver. Even the richest man on earth couldn’t purchase a single brick of paradise with all his dunya money!

Now, those who think that paradise is an Alice in Wonderland fairy tale haven’t even felt half the percentage of the Grace of the Almighty. If you deny His presence, then the only place for you in the hereafter is Hellfire.

As you start developing an emotional connection to the ultimate source of true pleasure, you pass mountains made of pure musk. You notice rivers of pure milk whose source isn’t a dairy cow, rivers of pure honey whose source isn’t a bee, rivers of unintoxicating wine who source isn’t fruit, and rivers of sparkling water. All these emanate directly from beneath the throne of the Almighty, Most Magnanimous. You may request a stop and drink from these refreshing springs, but you’ll be told, “Have patience, for you also own a few of these.”

When you finally reach your garden, you’ll see a most charming woman-a woman whose essence is saffron-washing a pure stream. She’ll have 70 sets of clothing upon her, but all will be delicate and weightless to the degree of transparency. She’ll be so beautiful that you’ll see the blood throbbing through her veins right through her ivory-like complexion further, you’ll see within her heart, and witness the waves of love throbbing in it for you. They will never lose their virginity, will never experience monthlies, nor lose their timeless beauty. As you stand there stunned, she will be joined by many more-a minimum of 72. Each one of them will have a separate grand pavilions alongside your rivers.

Then, the most gorgeous woman will arrive, the likes of which you’ll have never seen, and you’ll forget all those 72 hooris and turn to her. She’ll be your earthly wife, surpassing the beauty of a million hooris, returning to your arms. And why shouldn’t she be more beautiful for didn’t she engage herself in devotions in this world, and she patiently tolerated her husband’s moods in dunya?

To continue, in paradise, a single man will be granted the strength of 100 men, he’ll adorn himself with lavish like crowns and bracelets. Women, on their part, won’t be given a currency called dollar or pound, nor a credit card with a measly R10000- limit, but an unlimited currency called “Desire.”

Whatever they desire, they’ll get…beautiful handbags, manicures, pedicures, fluffy kittens and even obedient husbands who will become just as she like him to be in appearance and character. There’ll be no hijab in paradise, and also no lust. Noone will fear extra-marital affairs or even contemplate evil.

An ordinary palace will be a huge pearly 60 meters tall establishment carved out from within, and having 70,000 rooms, and built in such a way that every room will be completely private. The silken couches will be elevated-the ultimate lazy boy-and hundreds lads will be there to serve you with thousands of glasses on their hands, each holding a different liquid, and bringing whatever you desire at mere thought. No such remote control has ever been created in the world! All traces of jealousy, malice, envy, and pride will be removed from everyone in these huge social gatherings. There will be no problems, anxiety, back-stabbing, break-ups, divorces or any kind of relationship tension, in this “Pearl of Piece.”

The best part is there is no waking up in the morning to rush to work in order to clock in on time, to meet your monthly commitments or to stomach the nonsense of your boss. In fact, in paradise, there is neither fatigue, sleep, nor night. Paradise won’t be lit by a sun giving off nuclear rays, but by the shimmering light of the ‘Arsh (Grand Throne) itself. It will be as gentle as the rays just before dawn.

The best part of paradise is that you will be with everyone you love, past and present, have anything you want with no fear of death for anyone, nor scarcity of pleasures. Just when you thought it couldn’t get any better, the Almighty Himself will ask you, “Do you want anything more?”

And everyone will express their gratitude and the bounties beyond expectation. Then the Almighty will grant every resident the ULTIMATE glory-a bounty that not a zillion years of prostration can buy: He will reveal Himself to everyone. This grand sight will cause everyone to fall into prostration and will only increase themselves in beauty. There is no moment better than this moment and no pleasure that can ever surpass this privilege in one’s entire existence

Paradise is a pre place, reserved only for the pure. It’s reserved for those who don’t seek loftiness or power in this world, who have iman (faith), piety, and good character. And who realize that the ticket to paradise is undergoing the temporary hardships this world, dunya. Thus advised the Best of Creation, Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), “If you need to ask for anything, ask for jannat-ul Firdaws.”***

“Ya Allah!” I exclaimed! I turned to my brothers who were all wide eyed gaping in utter amazement. I said to them, “Who of us can now dare to refuse this? Are you sure you want to turn away the everlasting, never-ending bliss?”

But Haitham was crying like a baby, we never saw him this way and he started walking in the direction of the masjid.

Asad looked transfixed but I noticed tears in his eye as he spoke in a soft voice, “I ask Allah to forgive me, shower His mercy on me and guide me.”

I added, “Amiin.”

I looked at Muhammad who seemed to have no interest as he just held a blank expression on his face. Then, I faced him and muttered, “Sorry but I can no longer continue with this friendship. I can’t go back…” my words trailed off as he furiously interrupted me.

“I’m not crazy and I’m going.” He spun around in the direction of the masjid obviously with the intention of making tawba.

“Come on,” I beckoned Asad and he smiled hugely, “Let’s race to jannah?!”

Jazak'Allah khair for reading.

Also published at Hayatimagazine.com .